In some events in my life, experience preceded intellectual understanding. For example, in practices NādaYoga, when listening to my internal sound, I heard crickets in my head. Later, I found in the Gheranda Samhita a description of the sounds we hear depending on where the kundalini is:
“In a quiet place, where there are no sounds of animals or other sounds; the yogin practices Puraka and Kumbhaka, closing the ears with the hands (…). He will then hear various internal sounds directly to his ears. The first sound will be the crickets and, successively, the flute, thunder, drum, beetle, bells, gongs, metal bells, bugles, etc.)(…) These various sounds are presented by daily practice from Kumbhaka. Last of all is the sound of Anahata, born from the heart, which produces a resonance and becomes Light. In this Light the mind will be immersed. When the mind is absorbed, then one attains the highest place like Vishnu. (parama-Pada). One who is successful in this Bhrâmari Kumbhaka will also be successful in Samâdhi (…) It is recommended, in this prāṇāyāma, to retain the “breath, in Antara Kumbhaka, performing Sanmukhi-Mudrā without Jālandhara-Bandha, thus being able to hear the sounds of the Anāhata”
The sound of Mooladhara chakra is that of crickets.
Another experience that preceded intellectual study was with Tamas prāṇāyāma. For the realization of this pranayama, I learned to visualize a white feather under the nose and try to move it as little as possible, making the breath as subtle as possible. I played at taking this subtle breath to the heart. Sometimes I felt a bubble opening in my heart and a slight “Breathe from the heart” feeling. I later discovered that there is a very similar phenomenon called “stambha’ vrrti”.
When I first fasted for 21 days, I felt that a number of apprehensions that I had on an intellectual level reached the level of experience, especially with regard to this fluid of consciousness "ego", or how Ahamkara manifests in the different levels of density of our body. The act of fasting, or deciding to feed on prana, cutting off the apparent “fundamental” of the vital that is food, forces the conscience to play with the law of nature of survival. We fight and fight to survive and we are faced at the end of life with the greatest possible paradox: there is no way out, we will die. Do we really die? Or just Life transforms? And can we, from that moment, ascend the Life of the physical body, to a more conscious vital state?
Fasting moves the vital flows. And it also moves the fluid of consciousness that we call “ego”. In the cosmovision proposed by the philosophical current of “Samkhya”, we have Purusha and Prakrti, Buddhi (the cosmic consciousness, the act of choosing, deciding), Ahamkara (the sense of Identity), and then Panchamahabhuta, the senses, feeling, etc.
Patanjali describes in chapter 1 of the Yogasutras, different states of consciousness until reaching the seedless Samadhi, nirbijam samadhi.
Samadhi always seemed to me to be an abstract concept and very far from my corporeal and egoic reality. Only by understanding that there are earlier levels, where the mind makes associations to conceptual objects and only later, these associations dissolve, did I feel that I had some way forward. A path the perfect size for my step.
During the 21-day process, we are also introduced to the concept of the “Higher Self”, which until a while ago was also a mere concept for me, I could not consciously experience it. And here, I could feel how the “balance” of our Mind can be shifted to a “Higher Consciousness”. It happened in the way I identified with things.
There were two concomitant phenomena in this process:
1. The distancing of the “ego” on the mental, emotional, vital and physical planes. In my case, I chose to mostly put my identity out of mind. I believe, from my experience, that this notion of “Subject”, of “Observer”, still exists on a plane of consciousness superior to the mind, but in a very subtle way. That is, the egoic consciousness fluid continues to exist beyond the mind, but on a much more subtle level. A few moments I felt a state of emptiness, but still not totally detached from Ahamkara.
2. The second phenomenon is transmutations at all levels of density in the body. In other words, when we open ourselves to migrating our identity as the “Higher Self”, there is even a physical change in our body.
When we shift this “balance” of identity (we can say, Ahamkara) to a more “subtle” level, it also implies that we are transcending duality, the experiences of “pleasure and pain”. It is a circle that feeds: having non-afflicting thoughts and emotions support the body as a whole to seek this more subtle state. In turn, this subtle state helps to transcend the experiences of pleasure and pain at the densest levels. The latter assists in the emotions and thoughts of Joy and Love, and so on.. We can visualize two currents, one that goes up and the other that goes down, and the two help each other.
On the physical level, Ahamkara and Buddhi are on the cellular level. In an embryo, cells differentiate and "choose", they know their position. I felt a denser, more obvious shift, my joints fluid and springiness—which weren't just the absence of salt, but the cleansing of my emotions and still water. My gut had its time to heal. At the cellular level, I intended that each cell identify itself with God, with the Divine Presence.
On a vital level, the first stage was an appeasement of the vital and, today, a vital energy also directed and oriented.
On the emotional and mental level, in addition to noticing a greater state of awareness in emotions and thoughts, I feel that they are generally more positive. In other words, at times it transcends the phenomenological duality a little and at other times I feel a greater positivity and joy – perhaps that is what they say so much about Ananda. One feeds the other (just like light with its electric and magnetic fields that feed themselves with their variations).
It is magical to be able to consciously observe this transition. It is not a corporeal, dense state, with an independent apparent identity that readily migrates to a state of Unity and Multiplicity in motion (all at the same time) from one hour to the next. It is a gradual process, colors of a rainbow that slowly change in frequency.
On the material plane, the experience of life becomes more subtle, joyful, loving and with greater ease of migrating to altered states of consciousness, with the perception of Nature, being increasingly, less hidden by the veil of mental perception. And how important is the Mind in this process of Evolution, because intellectual understanding provides a stable and lasting basis for the field of experience that transcends the phenomenological and conceptual world.
I feel that my cells have changed their sense of identity. We are what we eat and the food is the smell of manacá, sunlight, moonlight, love, compassion, patience and peace. All the cells of the body begin to allow you the State of Divine Presence, and this, in turn, when we return to the state of perception of reality through the mind plane and, therefore, more dual, life becomes a Delight, Love and Compassion in its purest essence. It's very nice to feel the empty space between atoms and how everything dances in a colorful dance.
